Comments on: Novelist’s Boot Camp (Review) http://www.errantdreams.com/thoughts/2006/10/11/novelists-boot-camp-review/ "You never paint what you see or think you see. You paint with a thousand vibrations the blow that struck you." --Nicholas de Stael Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:08:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Heather Grove http://www.errantdreams.com/thoughts/2006/10/11/novelists-boot-camp-review/comment-page-1/#comment-89 Heather Grove Wed, 11 Oct 2006 20:14:30 +0000 http://www.errantdreams.com/thoughts/2006/10/11/novelists-boot-camp-review/#comment-89 That's a lot of what I liked about what she said, too. I always had difficulty explaining what it was about these supposed Nice Guys that rubbed me the wrong way (other than the fact that if they were so nice, why the heck were they so determined that they should get what they want and I should simply change my mind, as though their feelings were immutable but I could turn mine on like a switch?). I thought she did a really good job of pointing out what made them different from a <em>true</em> nice guy (like, oh, say, the one I married). That’s a lot of what I liked about what she said, too. I always had difficulty explaining what it was about these supposed Nice Guys that rubbed me the wrong way (other than the fact that if they were so nice, why the heck were they so determined that they should get what they want and I should simply change my mind, as though their feelings were immutable but I could turn mine on like a switch?). I thought she did a really good job of pointing out what made them different from a true nice guy (like, oh, say, the one I married).

]]> By: Scott M http://www.errantdreams.com/thoughts/2006/10/11/novelists-boot-camp-review/comment-page-1/#comment-88 Scott M Wed, 11 Oct 2006 18:28:07 +0000 http://www.errantdreams.com/thoughts/2006/10/11/novelists-boot-camp-review/#comment-88 The Nice Guy threads always interest me; fortunately, the last few times they've come around [say, the last six months], they've clearly distinguished nice guys from "Nice Guys in name only". I suppose it's due to persistent mis-identification; shy guys seems to be the category I fell into for so long, but I remember that being labeled "nice" too. I thought of myself as a nice guy for so long that I still feel I should wade in and correct misapprehensions-- fortunately, she did a good job in clearly distinguishing "nice" vs. "Nice", though blurring it with "it's a continuum" at the end of the first article was disappointing. Still, more perspective is a good thing-- useful, should I ever get involved with helping someone who's dealing with someone from either end of the issue. The Nice Guy threads always interest me; fortunately, the last few times they’ve come around [say, the last six months], they’ve clearly distinguished nice guys from “Nice Guys in name only”.

I suppose it’s due to persistent mis-identification; shy guys seems to be the category I fell into for so long, but I remember that being labeled “nice” too. I thought of myself as a nice guy for so long that I still feel I should wade in and correct misapprehensions– fortunately, she did a good job in clearly distinguishing “nice” vs. “Nice”, though blurring it with “it’s a continuum” at the end of the first article was disappointing.

Still, more perspective is a good thing– useful, should I ever get involved with helping someone who’s dealing with someone from either end of the issue.

]]>