Occasionally on my way to work, if I have a few extra minutes, I stop and get a donut and coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I stress the word occasionally for those who know that my doctor believes me close to obese (at 71″ and 190). Today was one of those days.
Normally, I take the old crumpled up donut bag from the floor of the car and throw it away in the trash can outside of Dunkin Donuts before I go in. Today however, I noticed that for some reason, the last time I splurged for Vitamin O (donuts), I had folded the donut bag neatly on the floor of the car as though I planned to recycle it. Recycle it! What a great idea!
I went inside the Dunkin Donuts and ordered a donut and coffee, but I handed my neatly folded bag to the lady behind the counter. “Here,” I said, “no sense wasting a bag every time I come in here. Use the bag from last time and help save the environment.” She laughed and took the bag from me.
“Thank you sir,” she said, “in this economy that’s a good thing.”
“What a good idea!” the person in line behind me said.
“Yeah!” the person behind them said.
I got my donut and coffee and left the shop listening to all the people talk about how they would recyle their bags in the future.
Wow, I thought. I’ve started a movement. Soon everybody that goes into this Dunkin Donuts shop will recyle their donut bags, then they’ll tell their friends and it will move to other neighborhoods and other countries and…Wow! Even though Dunkin donuts uses recycled paper, there will be less demand for recycled paper and the factory that makes donut bags can use the recycled paper to make something else that might have taken new paper which takes old trees and…Wow! I may have just begun a movement that will save the rainforests and WOW!!! What if no one ever gets a NEW bag again! I may have found the beginning to a solution to GLOBAL WARMING!
I ate my donut.
I drove for a while thinking about how I had just saved the world.
I drank my coffee.
The sugar and caffeine hit my bloodstream and brain at about the same moment.
OH NO!!! What have I done? What if the company that makes paper bags for Dunkin Donuts doesn’t get enough orders? They may have to cut back on bag-making and fire a few people. Then they probably won’t order the new bag-making machines from the U.S. Acme Bag Manufacturing Machine Company which will cause USABMMC stock to fall and more employees to get pinks slips. Then the steel and plastic and rubber and computer component suppliers that make all the parts and widgets and gadgets and gears and cutters and folders and benders and gluers for USABMMC won’t have enough orders to keep their businesses going and then THEY will have to fire MORE employees. Then those raw materials factories will shut down and the steel miners won’t have any jobs and the plastic pourers and moulders will be out of work and the rubber plantations will have to close and the computer component manufacturers will shut down which will cause the computer designers to lose jobs and 7,000 people (that seems to be the number lately) will LOSE THEIR JOBS because of my selfish recycling of that donut bag! The Economy will never recover if I don’t get the bag that I have coming!! Give me my bag and keep your jobs America!!!
Ok. That does it. The next time I get a donut, I want it double-bagged. This economy has GOT to recover. I am thinking WAY too much about it.