Archive for June, 2009

Tendonitis Was NOT On My List

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

We put in an orchard several weeks back, which involved clearing land and then digging seven holes in hard clay.  Part of the job was completed with a shovel, but below the first six inches, there was nothing but solid clay and rock.  Excavating this required a sledge hammer and a three foot long steel rod.  By the end of the day, my arm was tired.  The next day, my arm was sore.  Now, six weeks later, my arm is incapable of doing simple things like lifting a salt shaker, firmly grasping another human being’s hand, or brush my teeth with any grace.

I went to the doctor on Friday after multiple suggestions by my loving wife.  I received a steroid shot (darn it, there goes my chance at being a pro-football player), some painkillers, some muscle relaxants and a stern warning from the doctor not to lift anything heavy.  Swordfighting is right out.  Using my right arm is frowned upon.   Enter the weekend to-do list.

It is impossible to do anything when you are right handed and you aren’t supposed to use your arm.  Let me be more precise.  It is impossible to NOT do anything when you are right handed and aren’t supposed to use your arm.  I DIDN’T not use my right arm about two hundred times this weekend, in spite of all the friends and helpers trying to keep me from doing anything.

And, regardless of my weakness, all the pain, and all the admonitions NOT to do (whatever I was doing)…we got a LOT accomplished.  We sanded and stained five sets of pavillion poles for the new household pavillions (the pavillions are new, not the household).  We drilled, strapped, canvased and painted seven Scuti shields, we cut out, ironed, and sewed half the seams on fourteen war tabards for Pennsic war, and we fixed, strapped, padded, built or made a number of old and new armor pieces.  Oh…and I made eighteen pair of earrings.  (I was sitting idle at the time and the painkillers were doing their job).

Of all the things that I tend to put on a to-do list….getting tendonitis was definitely NOT one of them…

Top Ten Reasons Why Lowe’s is Better Than Peshawar

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

A quirky colleague of mine made an odd comment at work on Friday.  He suggested that home improvement stores (we were actually talking about Lowe’s) were exasperating to him and that, in fact, he was far more comfortable in a place like Peshawar, Pakistan.  I responded as follows.    “I don’t see how Lowe’s can be exasperating.    In fact, I can think of at least ten reasons why shopping in Lowe’s is better than being in Peshawar.

10)  The dirtiest section of Lowe’s is cleaner than the cleanest section of Peshawar.

9) You can actually drink the water in Lowe’s without getting sick.

8) The public bathrooms in Lowe’s are free to use, the private bathrooms in Peshawar are free from sanitation.

7) You seldom have to say “What is your best price?” in a Lowe’s.

6) Forklifts coming at you in Lowe’s have signals, trucks coming at you in Peshawar have explosives.

5) You don’t have to marry into the plumbing section at Lowe’s in order to truly know what is going on there.

4) More than half the Lowe’s employees speak English and only a few speak Urdu or Pashto.  In Peshawar, the opposite is true.

3) At Lowe’s, pipes, fertilizer and fuel cans are not used to make suicide vests, IEDs or explosives.

2) If you go out the back door of a Lowe’s you are in the garden center, if you go out a back door in Peshawar you are in big trouble.

1)  You usually don’t need an armed escort to go to Lowe’s.”

Feel free to add reasons…


When the Mortgage is Paid

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

Life apparently revolves around this key phrase.  Everything will be better when the mortgage is paid.  I won’t have to sork so much when the mortgage is paid.  I’ll be able to really get on with life when the mortgage is paid.  Keep in mind that I am in my mid-forties and have about 25 more years to pay off the mortgage.  Hoo-Boy!  Life is really going to begin once I turn 70 and that mortgage is paid…

Life has to begin now.  There is always something standing in the way:  the mortgage, saving for college, preparing for some work- or hobby-related event.  Life is too short to wait until any particular event is complete.  Life is only as good as you make it.

I will stop making excuses for not getting things done.

I will stop making excuses for not writing in this blog.

I will pay off the mortgage sooner so life can begin!  :-)

If I could just see a few hundred thousand T-shirts…this would all be a moot point.   :-)

Here we go again…