Heather of Maryland, Ant-Slayer

I stumbled groggily out of bed, threw on some sort of clothing, and wended my way to the kitchen to get breakfast started while my husband took his shower. The cats curled around my ankles meowing for breakfast, and as I bent over to pet them I saw it:

The ants had taken over.

We’d previously had a few ants show up in the bathroom, although butchering the bushes out back of the house had helped with that. They were starting to show up again, so I’d planned to do some pruning today, but nothing prepared me for the consequences of yesterday’s rainstorm. Apparently the entire colony had taken shelter in our kitchen and dining room.

I sprayed cleaning solution all over the floors, never more grateful than now that I’d learned how to make non-toxic cleansers that wouldn’t poison the cats, and wiped everything down super-carefully. Then I set about using my “stomp” and “squish” skills until nary an ant remained to be seen… at least for the next three minutes. It’s too bad this wasn’t a session of LotRO, because I’m sure I’d have at least my first ant-slaying deed by now, enabling me to have a floating text above my head that reads, “Heather of Maryland, Ant-Slayer.” I wonder which Virtue I’d get from the Advanced Ant-Slayer deed? Patience? Maybe a new one called Paranoia. After all, I’m spending the rest of my day cleaning, wearing shoes in the house for once, and visually scouring every inch of the floor in each room I enter, squishing each ant I see.

I think the cats worry for my sanity, judging by how they’ve been looking at me.

Anyway, speaking of MMORPGs (sort of), I’m in awe (as usual) of Foton’s ability to dig out the essence of the most melodramatic… well, dramas… and serve them up for our perusal. He slices out all the tiresome trolls and flames and cuts straight to the really fun posts so you can sit in awe of the nutcases that exist on the internet.

Edited later: My quest to eradicate the pestilence continues. I was going to re-prune the bushes, but they haven’t grown back up against the house, which means that isn’t how the ants are getting in. I did, however, see some hairline cracks in the cement foundation of what used to be a porch (and is now a sunroom), with ants crawling over those cracks. I’m assuming that’s how they’re getting in. Certainly if they crawled under that foundation to the nearest wallspace with pipes and such running through it, they’d get to the dining room and kitchen.

Isn’t this the part where I should see a gold ring on my minimap, indicating the NPC that will direct me to a reputable exterminator? And where are my experience points?

Posted in Gaming, News & Musings

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